June 10, 2023

How do subs verify that a findomme is legitimate and trustworthy before engaging in a session?

Findom, also known as financial domination, is a fetish that has gained popularity in recent years. It involves a dominant partner or ‘findomme’ who takes control of a submissive partner’s finances. This fetish is more than just giving or receiving money, but it’s also about the exchange of power and control. An important aspect of this fetish is trust between the submissive and the dominant partner. Submissives must ensure that they are engaging with a legitimate and trustworthy findomme before entering a session. This article will explore the methods and ways in which subs can verify the legitimacy and trustworthiness of a findomme.

Research is key

The first step a sub should take is conducting research on the findomme they wish to engage with. The internet is a vast place with various communities where findommes promote themselves. This makes it easier for subs to find findommes that fit their preference. However, not all findommes are genuine, and therefore it’s crucial for the sub to look deeper to avoid falling victim to a fraudulent findomme.

The sub can start with basic internet searches on the findomme’s name or handle. This search should reveal any red flags, such as negative reviews or scam warnings from other subs. Social media is also a valuable tool when looking for findommes. Platforms such as Twitter and Instagram are popular among findommes, and by scrolling through their feeds, a sub can get a glimpse of their methods and whether their overall persona seems trustworthy.

Verification Platforms

While conducting research online is helpful, there are more effective ways for subs to verify the legitimacy and trustworthiness of a findomme. Verification platforms such as OnlyFans and AVN Stars offer subs a higher level of security when engaging with findommes. These platforms require an ID to set up an account, which limits the risk of scammers creating multiple fake accounts. Additionally, these platforms offer a rating and review system that provides valuable feedback from other subs who have engaged with a specific findomme.

VDU Verification

Findommes also have the option of conducting VDU verification, an online identity verification system that confirms the identity of the user. By verifying their identity through VDU, a findomme proves to the sub that they are trustworthy and legitimate. Moreover, it lifts the veil of anonymity, which is vital when engaging in a possibly risky transaction.


Communication is the foundation of trust in findom. Before engaging in a session, subs must have clear communication with the findomme to ensure their expectations are met. Findommes should be open to answering any questions the sub has and provide clear instructions on how the session will go. A trustworthy findomme should also be transparent about their expectations and limits.

Findom Sub-Communities

Findom sub-communities are a great resource for subs to learn about the fetish, find reputable findommes, and interact with others who share the desire. Subs can discuss and share their experiences with various findommes, which may provide valuable insights about their trustworthiness. Furthermore, sub-communities allow subs to network and establish connections that may lead to referrals to trusted findommes.


Financial domination is a power play in BDSM that requires a high level of trust between the sub and the findomme. Due to the sensitive nature of the fetish, subs must ensure they’re engaging with a trustworthy and legitimate findomme. Subs can verify the legitimacy of a findomme through research, verification platforms and communities, VDU verification, and communication. Trust is the foundation of findom, and subs must take the necessary precautions to verify the legitimacy and trustworthiness of the findomme they wish to engage with to have a fulfilling experience. View Source

Can subs customize their findomme experience, or are the dommes in complete control?

As the world becomes more digitalized, the realm of BDSM and fetish have also found a new home over the internet. One of the more popular types of BDSM found online is financial domination or ‘findom,’ in which a sub (short for submissive) sends money or gifts to a dominant partner or ‘findomme’ for pleasure. However, a pressing question in the findom world is whether subs can customize their experience or if dommes (short for dominant females) are entirely in control.

At its core, findom is a power exchange where the findomme has control over the sub’s finances. Still, that doesn’t mean the sub doesn’t have choices or cannot customize their experience. Findom is not a one-size-fits-all practice, and the type of relationship formed between the sub and the domme can vary greatly depending on their preferences, boundaries, and agreements.

Before engaging in findom, communication is crucial. Discussing likes, dislikes, limits, and boundaries will establish expectations and preferences, making for a more enjoyable and fulfilling dynamic. For example, a sub could indicate a budget, frequency, or how they want their tributes (money or gifts sent to the domme) to be sent. The findomme may also have her own preferences such as particular methods of tribute, gift preferences, or spending expectations. In essence, the relationship between the two parties is customizable, and the domme can incorporate some of the sub’s preferences into the experience.

Additionally, a sub could request certain forms of humiliation or degradation to be incorporated into their dynamic, or they could be interested in chastity or orgasm control as part of the experience. The findomme may or may not oblige these requests, but that doesn’t mean the sub can’t ask or request. Ultimately, it comes down to the domme’s preferences and whether they are comfortable accommodating such requests.

Another way a sub can customize their experience is by seeking out a specific type of domme with certain qualities or characteristics. There are various types of findommes with their own unique approach and style ranging from strict financial control to a more nurturing and caring approach. Some findommes may specialize in particular kinks or fetishes, and subs seeking those experiences may seek them out. Ultimately, a sub has agency in who they choose to engage with and can experiment with different dommes to find the right fit for their desired experience.

However, it’s essential to note that while there are ways for subs to customize their experience, dommes are ultimately in control. The power dynamic in findom is centered around the findomme’s control over the sub’s finances, and the sub willingly submits to that control. Any customization or deviation from that dynamic still falls within the confines of the domme’s control over the relationship. If a sub is not comfortable with the findomme’s control, findom may not be the right fit for them.

In conclusion, while findom is a power exchange where dommes have control over subs’ finances, subs can still customize their experience in various ways. From setting limits to requesting specific kinks or fetishes or seeking out a particular type of domme, the relationship is customizable. That being said, it’s essential to remember that submissives are still submitting and giving control to the findomme. Ultimately, it’s up to the findomme to decide what level of control they want to have over the sub and the experience.
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